please try to ignore all the spam comments.  we started to remove them, but tony squares called us racists.

submitted by kathleen jordache, webmaster.

proof that there is ONLY ONE TONY SQUARES, and he’s not registered or something…

submitted by jonas salt.

holiday update:  tony squares spent time with the fam’.

submitted by miss squares.

tony squares would buy a fixer-upper and run it into the ground.

tony squares honks when he’s horny.

it’s never never but always now.

tony squares is a ship off-shore and can’t you see it’s sinking?

tony squares likes big penises just as much as everyone else.

for tony squares, ever day it rains is a wet t-shirt contest.

how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a toyn squres coulld drinkl beer?

submitted by kathleen jordache, webmaster.

“TWO MORE YEARS, BITCHES! Internet lady, make sure you keep it all caps.”

submitted by tony squares.

in case you haven’t figured it out (and there’s really no way you could have), tony squares’s highly anticipated album “steve garvey is not my padre” is going to be conceptual. something to do with accidentally getting someone pregnant. word is that it’s hit or miss. tony squares describes it like this:

“it’s mostly just cheesy synth because if it isn’t cheesy synth, i didn’t live it. and, yeah, most of the songs are just one lyric long. i’ll keep doing that until the label makes me write more. fuck it, i’ll say whatever they pay me to say. good morning, vietnam!!!”

download: “tony squares is pretty sad”

submitted by hank willis.

hey all,

sorry this website hasn’t been updated in a while. tony squares had been in the hospital with a severe case of whydoesgodletbadthingshappentogoodpeople-itis, and we didn’t feel that it was appropriate to update. we are, however, happy to report that mr. squares is doing very well with his recovery. as soon as he’s able to stop always worrying about the big picture, he should be fine. we actually have a note from him:

“thanks you (sic) to everyone for all the letters i wrote while i was in the hospital. they really meant a lot to me. hey, i’m thinking about starting a led zepplin tribute band called sugar zepplin. our slogan would be: there’s nothing wrong with a couple of sweet guys playing “stairway.” think about it. hell, audition for it.”

he has also graced us with a new song called four rights make a squares. jimmy’s been blasting it in the office all week. we have asked him nicely to stop.

submitted by kathleen jordache, webmaster.

tony squares is more relatable than tom hanks.

tony squares shreds insensitive documents.

tony squares likes couples parties.

tony squares has more catch phrases in him than amy heckerling.

tony squares will never turn 30.

tony squares was paul on the wonder years.

tony squares is a vegeterian, but he fucking loves veal.

tony squares is still spending money from ‘88.

if nice guys finish last, tony squares finishes TWICE.

tony squares fakes orgasms.

tony squares has diabetes.

submitted by kathleen jordache, webmaster.

from tony squares,

UPDATE: tony squares is hard at work on his new album, “steve garvey is not my padre,” due out sometime next year. the song, “my baby wants a baby” is just an early single and may not be on the album. if you want to hear early demos, sleep with tony squares.

man, 2006 sucks now.

submitted by harley cohen.

i was driving home after church with the folks today and saw this awesome billboard. lol my mom tried to explain how babies COULD be made in the car (lol parents!). i immediately went to the official tony squares website (which has since disappeared) and downloaded his NEW SONG.

here’s a description:
00:00 to 00:15 - hot keyboards over awesome claps
00:16 to 00:29 - vocals kick in with extreme force over booming distorted chords

…and it just repeats like that until 1:18.

download: “tony squares - my baby wants a baby”

MAKE SURE YOU BLAST IT AT PARTIES!

submitted by georgia florida.