i was driving home after church with the folks today and saw this awesome billboard. lol my mom tried to explain how babies COULD be made in the car (lol parents!). i immediately went to the official tony squares website (which has since disappeared) and downloaded his NEW SONG.
here’s a description:
00:00 to 00:15 - [...]

tony squares endorses NOTHING.
tony squares always remembers your birthday. it was may 17th. oops.
tony squares has never been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
tony squares doesn’t have any stories about awkward things that happened to him during puberty.
“my vida loca,” tony squares’s memoir, is only one page long. and [...]

from tonysquarestshirts.com:

“just to let all of ya’ll know that any shirts purchased from us after may 2nd will feature a misprint (shown above). if you receive something other than what you ordered, let us know. thanks for your patience while we sort this out.”
submitted by chone geraldo.

december 25, 1984: tony squares is spoiled rotten.
submitted by theo kennedy.

i saw tony squares playing frisbee with his dog at a park in pasadena. afterwards, he fell down into the tall grass and took a nap that seemed like it would last forever.
submitted by ethan collette.

since election season is just around the corner, you’re going to be seeing a lot of people covering their gas-guzzling SUVs and their practical toyotas with bumper stickers advertising their favorite candidates with things like RE-ELECT SCHWARZENEGGER, WALKEN ‘08, KIRBY ‘0SHIT, BONO ‘U2, and A WOMAN PRESIDENT WHEN AMERICA IS READY. so, why not throw [...]

if tony squares was lost at sea, he would eat the raft.
tony squares walked the l.a. marathon and came in 865th place.
tony squares created his own language based on a series of “what’s up” nods.
tony squares is not a model. he could be, but he’s too attractive and not vain enough.
tony squares reads the [...]

tony squares thinks “i’m gonna be (500 miles)” is a catchy song. everyone does.
tony squares relates more to harry in “when harry met sally…” because, even though he’s more like meg ryan’s character… still, billy crystal is a guy.
tony squares thinks YOU’RE stupid.
if there’s a tie, tony squares is the tie-breaker.
tony squares has never [...]