if tony squares was lost at sea, he would eat the raft.

tony squares walked the l.a. marathon and came in 865th place.

tony squares created his own language based on a series of “what’s up” nods.

tony squares is not a model. he could be, but he’s too attractive and not vain enough.

tony squares reads the bible.

tony squares is not gay, not even a little. the gayest thing he’s ever done involved a threesome with three women.

tony squares once accused a valet of trying to steal his car.

romance novels are based on the stories women tell each other about tony squares.

he has never farted.

submitted by kathleen jordache, webmaster.